Taelyr C. Roberts

Lately, I have been extremely focused on  my health and my happiness and whatever that means. I have begun to realize that a lot of the reasons that I am often unhappy is by my own hand. I could be doing so many greater things, but I have been undercutting my potential and blocking off opportunity without even realizing it. For example, I attended a conference last weekend and as a woman who has often been one of those who has said ‘I don’t really get along with women’ it was very surprising and honestly refreshing to have walked away with so many valuable female connections. I can truly see myself becoming genuine friends with most of them. Regardless, I was extremely hesitant to even talk to so many of the females in the room simply for the fact that I tend to find myself more comfortable around men. I like to embrace the idea that I am pretty comfortable being uncomfortable at least when there are no remnants of romantic affections lingering around (that is a completely different post) and so to truly embrace that, I realized that there was a piece of myself that need to be removed. We hold onto this idea so tightly that it is necessary for us to cling to all portions of ourselves for dear life that we forget sometimes that all of the pieces may not necessarily be to our benefit. So, in this moment, in these days I am trying valiantly to release the pieces of myself that are less than desirable or even downright harmful to my well being and a destructive mentality is definitely one of them.  The other area of my life that I am trying desperately to critique is in the realm of the heart. I tend to find myself being too giving or not giving enough or WAAYYY too forward or too reserved. My college has allowed me to grow accustomed to meeting people outside of romantic affections that I can vocalize exactly how I am feeling or what I am thinking without fear of judgment or negative reaction and I feel as though it has taken me till now to understand that everyone does not operate that way, so honesty is often perceived as a very intimidating force. I have now reached this point where I am trying to figure out is this a me something that needs to change or a world something that just is and I have to wait for someone who approaches life & love in the same way. THIS is one of the few things that keeps me awake at night, but I also feel as though being able to look back now and see the growth and the process that led me to this point has made me incredibly appreciative. No, I don’t always get it right. I sometimes tell people that their outfit is ugly or that I love the way that they smile they are feeling a little cocky or don’t go and introduce myself to the girl in heels across the room, but these are all pieces of myself that I am working on readjusting or removing in hopes that just maybe I will be a better person and new doors will be opened as a reward for this work. 

-Yours in growth & opportunity

TCR